I Asked People the Best Advice their Therapist Gave Them (I)

Seeking out therapy is a privilege. While caring for mental health should be a top priority for us all, the reality is that it isn’t. Why? Well, because life happens. It knocks you down. You may feel the need to deny your situation or take it for granted. You may also feel that no one understands you and your hurt. Well in this case, hypothetically, you should turn to therapy. But, let’s be real, considering therapy may feel like an extravagant indulgence for how expensive it can be at times. We can’t deny how important keeping your mental health in check is. So I did something. I asked people the best advice their therapist ever gave them, and here are my findings.

DISCLAIMER: I am consciously keeping the names and identities of the participants anonymous for obvious reasons.

Let’s begin!

• “Our thoughts become us.”
• “There’s light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel is just curved right now, so you can’t see the light. But it’s there.”
• “You can’t come back.”
• “When you are scared and anxious about something, think of the worst possible thing that could realistically happen. Then, make a plan of how you would deal with that worst-case scenario, and jump in to face it.”
• “Try talking to yourself the way you talk to your son and your pets.” That one was a hard pill to swallow when my therapist asked if I would ever talk to my son or my fur babies in the very mean and hurtful ways I talk to myself…of course not, and it took me a long time to change that bad habit of beating myself up mentally.”

• “Get out of your head. (stop as best you can ALL of the negative self-talk-how many of the thoughts about something happening to you have ever come to pass).”  It is you telling yourself to stop listening to those repetitive false negative thoughts that most likely were created when one was a child. As I got older some of the words have changed but not the meaning. Sometimes I would just write them down and throw the paper away or delete them from the computer. Professional therapy is also a good place to understand how to get those thoughts out of your mind. I believe that our hearts tell us good positive things and it is spoken in our truth. We were born with that awareness. While negative, hate, jealousy are acquired from our environment/upbringing. Learned can be unlearned or revised.
• “You are in session to help you feel good about yourself not for others to feel good about you.”
• Therapist: “Imagine you are a log floating on the water. Now, imagine every time you get hurt (emotionally, physically, etc) a hole is drilled through the log. What happens when the log gets too many holes?” Me: “It sinks”. Therapist: “My point exactly…”
• “I know the answers to my own problems and I know the causes, I just can’t see them right now.”
• “Remember to do self-care.”
• “You aren’t crazy. Yup. There’s no logical explanation for it.”
• “It’s okay to cry Not just okay but very normal to cry.”
• “Come up with a slogan for when you feel nervous.” I came up with “So what, I’m still a rockstar” from Pink. It did work sometimes though haha.
• “Hold yourself accountable, strive to be your best self, and don’t compare your trauma. Process your feelings and let go.”
• “Acceptance was the answer to all my problems. Accept a person, place or thing or an idea for what the heck it is and move the heck on.”

• “Get a sane therapist. And don’t be afraid to change your therapist. Not all of them are the same.”
• “Let him go, you don’t need to be treated like that.”
• “It’ll all be okay in the end. If it’s not okay it’s not the end”
• “Forgive yourself.”
• “Don’t always listen to your inner voice/thoughts. Those are hurtful.”
• “Don’t believe everything you tell yourself.”
• “Be more precise with your feelings. You can’t work through them if you can’t name them.” And then she gave me a mood wheel and a trigger sheet. The trigger sheet is like “I feel triggered when…” and had a bunch of things to choose from. Example: “I feel trigger when I feel unheard.”
• “Your happiness depends on you, not someone else”
• Also, she said, “There is no cure for anxiety. Focus on how to cope, and live in spite of anxiety.”
• “You don’t need anyone’s approval to be you. Each scar tells a story and you shouldn’t be ashamed of them or your trauma. Start where you are, use what you have, and go from there. Be true to yourself.”

Very enlightening, right?! I am thinking of turning this into a series. There’s still lots more that I need to share with you.

Let us know if you liked this or not. Also, don’t forget to tell us what your favorite advice from the list is.

Interested in watching a show that’s pro-mental health and therapy. “Being Erica” could be it. Click here.