Human beings are predictable. Call it what you will-a proper upbringing, conforming to societal norms or the very nature of humanity itself; but we can almost always guess what they’re going to do or say next. When strangers meet, they greet each other. Then, if they want to continue this oh-so-important conversation, they’ll ask you about family (Birth Order and number of siblings) and occupation. Keep their attention long enough and you’ve got a new acquaintance or friend (if you’re the kind of person who befriends others quickly).
A Little History
Psychologists have been interested in whether our place or “birth order” among siblings has any effects on our personality. Francis Galton-the youngest among his siblings- conducted a study where he discovered that first-borns were over-represented in society. Later, Alfred Adler uncovered that ” firstborns were privileged, but also burdened by feelings of excessive responsibility and a fear of dethronement“. Well, doesn’t that sound like my eldest sister? He also concluded that the other siblings-excluding the first-born- were ”
overindulged by their parents. Therefore, they lacked social empathy.”
Recently, Sulloway‘s “Family Niche Theory of Birth-Order Effects” has made some important observations regarding this confounding question. According to him, the eldest are more likely to show dominant behavior. Furthermore, this leads to less agreeable behavior. Also, they were more anxious and belligerent. Meanwhile, other siblings were more sociable and consequently more extroverted. Additionally, later-borns were more “depressed, vulnerable, self-conscious, and impulsive”.
Present Thoughts on Birth Order
However, these findings don’t hold today. As Lisa Shields mentions, there’s “a lot more to our personalities than where we fall on the birth order spectrum.” We have to include more factors such as “gender, age, family size, socioeconomic status, environmental factors and family structure.” Therefore, it would be more wrong than right to judge someone based solely on their birth order. No doubt, a relationship does exist. But, the particulars of that relationship is yet to be discovered. In fact, Alan E. Stewart proposed that “we don’t have to live our lives according to the timing of our birth. Additionally, we can change the way we think about our role in the family.”
Some Common Stereotypes Regarding Birth Order
Even with all this vague and inconclusive research, there are still a few popular stereotypes regarding birth order. Down below, I’ll discuss a few. Don’t take them seriously, unless if you want to.
First-Borns
Individuals who were born first tend to be more responsible and make great leaders. The eldest is typically ambitious while also seeking constant approval from others. Also, they might be jealous and controlling because of their limited attention from parents and young siblings. According to a research, they are more likely to have high-paying professions. Consequently, they are highly represented in academia.
Middle Children
Dis-reputed from the time of their birth, the middle child is highly emotional (sometimes overly emotional without any reason). They are also the ‘peacemakers’ in the family and due to parental neglect, they often turn to friends and outsiders for support and attention. Also, “They seek to find interests that don’t already belong to other family members, making them feel foreign to their parents,” says Krawiec. So yeah, total attention seekers! Finally, they’re people-pleasers and can come off as needy but those unmet needs are real.
Unmet needs? Click here!
The Baby in the Birth Order
The youngest is adored by all- siblings and parents. I mean, come on! They’re the baby of the family. Additionally, parents coddle them. They get attention. The last-born is often easy-going. Also, they make others feel relaxed. In fact, they appear to be “more independent”. Wolanin elaborates further by mentioning that “Youngest children are playful, rule breakers, charming, and carefree”.
But, it’s not all sunshine and bubbles. The youngest is irresponsible. Consequently, they are temperamental and selfish.
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Currently, I am a student of Fatima Jinnah Women University. With a burning passion for psychology, words, and dreams, I decided to abandon medical studies for humanities. These days, when I’m not listening to ballads, watching movies, or sitting down with a good novel, I am rigorously studying Hangul (Korean language) to satisfy my obsession for BTS and K dramas. I’m a thinking introvert and INFJ personality. Therefore, I like ‘me time’. My articles typically resonate with psychological well-being advice.