IT GOES LIKE THIS
So, you met this person. Fine. You’re trying to become friends with them. Alright. But, something’s off. Yeah? Okay. You’re not gonna like this but… Did you ever stop to consider that maybe your friend might not actually want to be friends with you? Ouch.
Losing a friend is hard, especially if you’ve built so many fond memories with them. But life is shifting and fleeting, with no year similar to that of the past. And, no one is a stranger to losing a friend or two along the way. It’s inevitable. But, to give a subtle hands-up, here are some signs you need to look out for.
DRY CONVERSATION
Here’s where it gets a little personal! Conversations are two-way streets. When someone doesn’t put in the effort to communicate, it can be difficult to have a deep connection. Often, it may feel like they’re keeping their distance, making it feel as if your words mean very little to them. Yeah. I know. It hurts! But, if you’ve noticed your friend sending shorter texts to you, or their eyes glossing over you during face-to-face conversations, there’s something wrong; chances are their mind’s already set on ending the conversation.
BUSY BODY
We’re all busy. I mean, life is fast-paced. But, making time for your friends isn’t impossible. School, career, and hobbies can occupy people’s time. However, when you invite them to hang out and end up hearing the same excuses again and again, there may be underlying reasons for them not wanting to see you. Don’t take it so personally. You may feel like you can drop anything for them; but if they don’t feel the same with you, it may be time to reevaluate the friendship. In fact, just remove yourself from the equation.
FRIENDSHIP MATERIAL
Does your friend celebrate your accomplishments? Well, mine do. So, yours should too! According to Lydia Denworth, a science journalist and author, there are three basic things a friendship must entail: time investment, participating in positive activities, and equal cooperation. You don’t need to share the same humor or same ideas all the time. But, if one of the three basics is lacking, the foundation your friendship stands on may be shaky. Okay. More than a little shaky.
INCOMPATIBLE ENERGIES
Have you ever just “clicked” with someone?
You may be experiencing a phenomenon known as brain coupling, wherein two brains share connections that would otherwise not have been experienced in isolation. In a study, there have been signs of measurable signals in our brain that show whether we click with someone or not. The greater your brain’s signal, the more connected you feel with another person who shares the same experience with you. I know. It’s crazy but it works! If your friend doesn’t have the same energy, on the other hand, it could be a sign that things just don’t click between you two.
WORDS AND ACTIONS ARE…
Has your friend ever told you an excuse not to see you, only for them to post themselves on social media with another bunch of people? Uh…yeah. That really hurts! But, someone who deliberately lies to you isn’t someone you’d like to be around. According to a study published in the Journal of Adolescence led by Victoria Dykstra, frequent lie-telling leads to poorer social relationships and more depressive symptoms over time. This can not only distort your idea of what makes a good friendship, but it could also lead you to suffer from burgeoning mental health issues. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to let them go.
BODY LANGUAGE IS NOT INTERESTED
Do you feel uneasy with your friends, but can’t pinpoint why? If your friend isn’t interested, they may follow certain body language patterns that show that they want to exit the conversation. They may nod or smile a lot – but they could fail to listen to what you have to say. While sometimes of it could just be awkwardness, disinterest shows in other ways as well. Their body stiffing up, long, drawn-out smiles, body turned away from you, or fidgeting are signs of disinterest.
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Currently, I am a student of Fatima Jinnah Women University. With a burning passion for psychology, words, and dreams, I decided to abandon medical studies for humanities. These days, when I’m not listening to ballads, watching movies, or sitting down with a good novel, I am rigorously studying Hangul (Korean language) to satisfy my obsession for BTS and K dramas. I’m a thinking introvert and INFJ personality. Therefore, I like ‘me time’. My articles typically resonate with psychological well-being advice.