People Who…
How many times have we tried to change ourselves? Yeah, a little too much. But, it’s okay if it leads to mental and physical improvement. But, what about the people around us? All too often do we try to change the ones we love because we think we see the good in them they can’t see in themselves. We make the mistake of assuming that everyone wants to be better and grow beyond where they are, but trying to help someone who can’t even help themselves can feel a lot like taking one step forward and ten steps back. With that said, here are 6 of the most problematic types of people you cannot help.
Deceiving You Right in Front of Your Eyes
Another type of person you shouldn’t try to help is those who are dishonest and deceptive, even when you’re only trying to help them. Often charming and persuasive — especially when they need something from you — deceptive people should never be trusted because they act one way in public and another in private. Furthermore, they are two-faced and manipulative, they might even tell you lies, or try to trick you into siding with them, doing favors for them. It hurts more when that person is a good friend. But, don’t hang around. Otherwise, you’re just torturing yourself.
Look at Me! I’m Desperate…
Cunning and opportunistic, although a desperate person may move you to pity them and beg you for help, don’t fall for their tricks. These kinds of people are willing to do anything and everything just to get what they want, even if it means stabbing you in the back. They have no respect for your boundaries; they abuse your generosity, time, and energy; they’re always asking you for favors but never paying you back. Furthermore, they have no problem using your kindness and love against you. So instead of wasting your time trying to help someone like this, I suggest you stay as far away as you can.
Playing the Victim, Eh?
This is what we call those who are always pinning the blame on everyone but themselves, especially when things go wrong. Because they lack the emotional maturity to own up to their mistakes and hold themselves accountable, they fail to see how their own choices and actions have led them to where they are now. No matter how hard you try to change them or help them, they won’t respond. Don’t torture yourself like this and just move on.
Disloyal People? Please Go Away!
Some people are just too disloyal for you to help. They are quick to get angry at you over the littlest things; pick fights with you over nothing; take other people’s side over yours, or talk about you behind your back. Though you may think that they’re your friends, the truth is, you don’t want someone disloyal in your life. They’re unwilling to change and be better because they don’t really care about you enough to try. Sorry but not sorry. You need to distance yourself from such individuals!
Doubtful People
Doubtful people. Difficult to understand and accommodate, they are skeptical of everyone and everything good that comes their way. They are distrustful, pessimistic, harsh, and judgmental. And they never go along with any of your positivity, gratitude, or optimism. because they’d rather sulk and criticize everything. Sure, this can be us too on a particular day. But every single day without any improvement! Even the most dedicated psychiatrist might want to take a break. And the worst part is, it probably won’t be long before you start acting the same way, too. And, that’s why I’m telling you now.. avoid these people. I know it might be difficult if they’re close to you but you are your own top priority. Remember that. Also, if you get too close to people like this, they could end up getting in your head and filling you with doubt, too!
People Who Quit Easily
If you have someone in your life who’s an infamous quitter, you’re better off staying away from them than trying to change them. No amount of kindness, generosity, or encouragement will get them to change their ways because they’re so stuck in their “loser mentality.” They think that whatever they will do, they’ll either fail or need to work hard to succeed, so they’d rather “quit while they’re ahead” than try in the first place. It’s kind of pathetic when you think about it. Now, I’m not trying to be mean or anything but there’s nothing you can do. Trust me. Therefore, don’t give your all for someone who isn’t even willing to put themselves out there.
Lastly, you just can’t help a person who doesn’t want it, who isn’t willing to change their ways and be better. It’s hard to accept especially when said person is a close one to you. But, holding on to such people like this will only leave you hurt, frustrated, and emotionally drained. And life is too precious to waste in the wrong company. It might be hard but you have got to move on. They don’t want or need your help.
Learn more about a person’s personality by clicking here.
Do you want to know the best advice therapists give? Check this out!
Currently, I am a student of Fatima Jinnah Women University. With a burning passion for psychology, words, and dreams, I decided to abandon medical studies for humanities. These days, when I’m not listening to ballads, watching movies, or sitting down with a good novel, I am rigorously studying Hangul (Korean language) to satisfy my obsession for BTS and K dramas. I’m a thinking introvert and INFJ personality. Therefore, I like ‘me time’. My articles typically resonate with psychological well-being advice.