Behind in Life? Just Remember THIS to Feel Better!
Behind in Life?
More often than not, a huge majority of people experience feeling behind in life. A lot of us, including myself, might not have considered this, or even came across this thought, and that’s completely reasonable. After all, doesn’t everyone have enough things to worry about in their own lives?
But, this doesn’t completely translate because, as humans, we are always looking to compete and compare ourselves with other people who have been finding more success or more happiness. Competition has been, and will always be, one of the main ways that people develop and improve, and that has given people the idea that competing for everything in life will naturally translate into a better version of yourself. And while this is true for most cases, it might have the complete opposite effect on you. You might compare yourself with your childhood friends.Or friends that you’ve made along the way who were at the same stage as you were a year ago who has recently found success, and just focus on the fact that they are moving forward, and you’re not.
Moreover, it’s very easy to focus only on the results without considering the different circumstances that each person has. And those are things that we need to accept. We need to accept that there are several things that we can’t control. We need to accept that the concept of “being behind in life” is completely subjective and that we can have a change in perspective to stop this feeling (Drew, 2018). Furthermore, we need to accept ourselves as who we are and practice some self-love, rather than beating ourselves for not trying hard enough.
Control
Now, let’s focus on the topic of what we can and can’t control. Yes, knowing what is or isn’t within our control can be a bit difficult sometimes. This is especially true when people constantly think that it might also just be them making excuses for what’s happening. Let’s use the current COVID-19 pandemic we are experiencing globally as an example. This is a situation that can’t be controlled by anyone and has had negative impacts on all aspects of everyone’s lives. Additionally, the pandemic has introduced many things into everyone’s lives, including forced quarantining, social isolation, disruption of economic and health security, among others. And every one of us had our circumstances.
But even in this situation, I often hear people saying: “I shouldn’t let this affect me” or, “If I work harder, I’ll be able to get a job or a promotion”, or things with a similar message. And that’s the thing, people will try to neglect or underestimate these uncontrollable situations and put all the pressure, and the blame, on themselves.
It’s so easy for us to look back and say: “I should have done this”, or “I should have listened to what they said”. By doing this, all you’re doing is getting stuck in the past. You’re regretting doing, or not doing things that, maybe you’d be better off if things were done differently. But be realistic and think to yourself, was there any way that you could have known?
Appreciate Even If You Are behind
The most important thing when it comes to letting go is to learn how to appreciate the things that you have (Official Steven Furtick, 2021). You might be looking back at a situation that you wish went differently, but, if you think it through, what did you get in return? For every bad situation or bad experience, there is something good that comes with it, and rather than thinking of what you could have had, think about what you got.
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Currently, I am a student of Fatima Jinnah Women University. With a burning passion for psychology, words, and dreams, I decided to abandon medical studies for humanities. These days, when I’m not listening to ballads, watching movies, or sitting down with a good novel, I am rigorously studying Hangul (Korean language) to satisfy my obsession for BTS and K dramas. I’m a thinking introvert and INFJ personality. Therefore, I like ‘me time’. My articles typically resonate with psychological well-being advice.
