(KRQ) sparked controversy by pushing for love marriages
Screenwriter and filmmaker Khalilur Rehman Qamar (KRQ) stirred much controversy recently when he appeared on a local television channel. He advocated for love marriages, urged women to keep their bodies after marriage, and compared men who seek dowries to transgender people.
“I prefer love marriage because I think that is the only way to get rid of the curse of dowries in our society,” KRQ said, starting off very innocently. The biggest sin is Jahez. A man is already halfway to love if he doesn’t ask his wife for a dowry.
KRQ claimed that a lady would respect her husband more only by declining a dowry and that she would “wash his feet” in appreciation for saving her parents from excessive financial strain. The notion of dowries itself disgusts KQR so much (though not the idea of women washing men’s feet), that he compared men who make such requests to “hijra,” an unpleasant term for transgender people. The author of Meray Paas Tum Ho declared, “Men who take jahez are hijra,” without flinching from sarcasm or regret.
I refer to them as that. “I think men who ask for dowries are na mard,” KRQ continued, implying that she had no regard for transsexual people despite her mistreatment as a minority.
Although KRQ made a token gesture of tolerance for transgender people, his remarks were laced with sexism, which is pervasive in Pakistani society today. It is commendable to be repulsed by the idea of dowries and to demand excessive amounts of money in the name of custom. It is not commendable to attribute such characteristics to a minority that already endures tremendous strain from a hostile world.
Not willing to stop at disparaging only transgender people, KRQ continued by giving marriage counsel. He clarified, “Homes were made for women.” “Why do we have these makaan (houses) that you see today? They have never been useful to men in the past. A guy has an obligation to maintain a woman in a home so that it might be a joyful place because it is she who makes it into a home.
But in a plot twist that ought to have been obvious, KRQ gave the ladies themselves full responsibility for preserving a successful marriage and home.
“Women, please, take care of your bodies! If you don’t maintain a gorgeous physique, you will lose your man.” He was quite clear in his instructions. “In order to keep her partner engaged, a woman needs to take care of herself. Take care of yourself first!
KRQ once again alienated half of his target audience by treating women like sexual objects, and he also failed to deliver on what he must have thought was a helpful relationship advice. Change in the way that people regard women at the grassroots level will remain difficult as long as public celebrities continue to express such patriarchal beliefs.
I am a dedicated student currently in my seventh semester, pursuing a degree in International Relations. Alongside my academic pursuits, I am actively engaged in the professional field as a content writer at the Rangeinn website.
