Inner Child-Wounded or Healthy? Find Out Now!
Inner Child Who?
First, what’s an inner child? Just what you think it is! It is an individual’s child-like psychological reality; an unconscious part of who you are. Childhood is frequently quoted as the golden time in a person’s life. However, if a person had an unhealthy childhood, the consequences permeate into adulthood. For example, if you were mistreated when you were younger, you might allow others to do it to you when you are older. Why? Because you feel like you deserve that kind of behavior.
Childhood trauma is real. We often say that our past mistakes and behaviors have no place in our present life but our past continually shapes us. In fact, if we faced a negative event in childhood, we might still be living with the pain today even if we think we have overcome the previous agony and suffering. Therefore, there are a few signs that indicate that you had a troublesome childhood. Find out if you are still dealing with a wounded inner child today.
Desertion Issues
Firstly, you fear abandonment. Sometimes, we feel as if the people we care about will just walk out of our lives. Also, we might feel unworthy of love. Consequently, we have an inane habit of pushing people away. Why? Because we are unconvinced that they’ll never actually stay with us. Furthermore, we push people away because being alone is better than being left behind. The pain of being forsaken is too deep. This is one of the most damaging fears that wound your inner child.
Boundary Disputes
Do you have a problem with enforcing boundaries that you set up for other people? There are so many kinds of disputes that can take place. Furthermore, these boundaries keep a check and balance on how much we’re willing others to know about us and vice versa. Maybe, you’re a people-pleaser (like the majority of the human population) and you can’t say no. What could be the reason for that? Perhaps, you’re not good at expressing your feelings or you don’t want to disappoint or hurt others. If this happens to a great extent, it could be a sign of a wounded inner child.
The Inner Child with Anger Problems
We all get angry. It’s a natural emotion that one will feel at one point or another. But, an unusually fiery temper all the time is not normal. When we are unable to control our anger, it means that there’s something wrong. Just as the child who explodes when he doesn’t get what he wants, being overly angry means that you are holding on to a frustrating memory when your needs weren’t met. Again, your inner child is crying out for help and needs your attention badly.
I Plead Guilty, Your Honor!
We all do things that make us feel guilty at times. Again, this is completely normal. But, if you’re parents blamed you a lot when you were a kid, you might have an unhealthy habit of doing this. Even when you’ve done nothing wrong, if you’re inner child is wounded then you blame yourself for everything. However, this isn’t just limited to your parents. Sometimes, other people make us believe that something is our fault (I’m looking at you elder siblings) and this transforms into an unhealthy obsession with feeling guilty all the time.
Inner Child with Trust Anxieties
The average person is a bit reserved when it comes to trusting others. Probably because we see so much betrayal in film and the real world. However, a person who has been lied to or manipulated when they were young deals with this problem more seriously. Consequently, you might question people’s intentions. Are they just nice or do they want something from you? Do they really like you or are they just pretending? So, you don’t trust easily and use it as a defense mechanism. But, you must remember that not everyone is going to mistreat you. Developing trust issues can get in the way of meeting people who truly love you.
I Can’t Let You Go
The thing about trauma is that it’s hard to get rid of. I mean, it’s not impossible. But, it’s easier to bury it and think that we’ve overcome it. However, in reality, it just transcends into adulthood. Some of us can’t get over past arguments and situations. Do you ever feel like you remember the bad things that happened and can’t stop thinking about them? If so, you might be still carrying the baggage from the past. Consequently, you might have a wounded inner child.
You can improve your mental health with these simple tricks! Don’t forget to check these out before you leave.
Are you an ambivert? Find out here.
Currently, I am a student of Fatima Jinnah Women University. With a burning passion for psychology, words, and dreams, I decided to abandon medical studies for humanities. These days, when I’m not listening to ballads, watching movies, or sitting down with a good novel, I am rigorously studying Hangul (Korean language) to satisfy my obsession for BTS and K dramas. I’m a thinking introvert and INFJ personality. Therefore, I like ‘me time’. My articles typically resonate with psychological well-being advice.
